The Empty Month

Due to medical reasons too boring to get into on this blog (don't worry, I'm not dying or anything) I have been put on a very... interesting diet for the month of January. I have become a walking caricature: no dairy, no soy, no gluten, no corn (might as well start crossfit while I'm at it). Also, a whole host of other non-trendy things to avoid - of particular interest to regular blog readers, no red kidney beans or lentils.

Needless to say, this is a bit of a shock. Any one of the above would be a big change, but all combined just seem a bit ridiculous. Basically all my conventional protein sources are gone, along with essentially all fake meats (But what about Daiya you say. It has pea powder in it. Peas are also on the verboten list because why not). Beer and scotch, my alcohol favourites, are offline.

Most restaurants are no-go, as there's corn syrup, butter or soy sauce (depending on the restaurant) in so many things. Even at home, there are going to be big changes in what I eat. Of the six meals on this blog's front page, all are vegan yet all would run afoul of the new regulations.

However, things aren't that bad (and not just because this is a very trivial problem in the grand scheme of things). I'm not completely vegan because I can eat eggs, so that's a protein source right there. Same with nuts. Chickpeas are still in the green list and there are all sorts of other high-protein beans I can try. Like Mung Beans! That's a thing.

And even though all the recipes on the front page were offside, they can be reigned in. In some cases, it's as simple as not adding soy sauce.

Moreover, it's a good opportunity to try new things and really think about what I'm eating. Like this noodle soup that I whipped up.

I'm not going to blog the recipe because it was very spur of the moment, but the broth was veggie stock with mushrooms, red wine and cayenne pepper. It tasted good and fit all the new criteria.

I was going to blog about recipes under the label "The Empty Month". But after thinking about it, "The Experimental Month" is much more apt (and optimistic).

The Bread of Affliction

Every year, I celebrate passover, where for one week I have to give up leavened bread. It has been particularly annoying as the week started off with my roommate making several dozen delicious cupcakes, which I foolishly did not think of until after the holiday had started. There has also been a veritable flood of free pizza... which was even harder to pass over (I'll be here all week folks, tip your waitress).

So what do I eat instead? Matzah, which tastes like cardboard without the flavour. I'll usually have it with peanut butter (there are some Jews who do not eat peanuts on passover, but that's not how I roll) or cheese, but there are some things you can do to make it taste really awesome. In specific, here is my Mom's recipe for Matzoh Crunch (which I will spell her way, as it is her recipe).

Matzoh Crunch

3 pieces matzoh

1/2 cup butter

1/2 brown sugar

1 cup chocolate chips

Line a cookie sheet with foil and place 3 matzohs on the sheet. Melt the butter and add the brown sugar. Boil for three minutes, stirring frequently. Pour over matzoh--fairly evenly but your don't have to spread it as it spreads while baking. (don't go right to the edges)

Bake for 10 minutes--should be bubbling--if not, give it another minute. Remove from oven, sprinkle with the chocolate chips. When they melt, spread them around. Takes a couple of hours to cool, put in fridge it you need it to cool faster.

Restaurant: Samuel's by the Park

Perhaps the oddest thing about Samuel's is their wine pricing scheme: glasses cost less than bottles. Now, that statement by itself is obvious: of course, a glass of wine is going to cost less than a bottle. The surprise at Samuel's is that the relative cost is cheaper. You get 4-5 glasses per bottle and, for example, a glass of Jackson-Triggs costs $6 and a bottle costs $33. Even if we go for the higher 5 glasses per bottle, it still costs $3 less to get the equivalent amount of wine in glass form.

But aside from the oddity of the wine pricing (and, for the record, I did not get the Jackson-Triggs) you might wonder how the food was. That question is hard for me to answer, as I'm not really the target audience for this restaurant. The place is not what you would call "vegetarian friendly" as the dinner menu has no vegetarian options. Now, I was here at a big family dinner (17 people) so they had set up a prix fixe menu for us, which did include a vegetarian entree.

The bread they brought out was good, but the olive tapenade that accompanied it was amazing. Definitely the best I've ever had. So often they're too oily or too salty, but this was perfect. I checked the prix fixe menu, which had been printed out for all us on paper. It had "Mr. [one of my last name's] Menu" at the top, which made me think that I was sitting in my uncle's chair. After a moment's investigation, I discovered all the menus thus entitled as he had been the one who booked it. We had a choice of a starter, an entree and dessert. The two starters were caesar salad and the soup of the day (that's another oddity, when they printed up the menus presumably they knew what the soup of the day was. Why make extra work for the waiter who had to identity the soup to us all?) neither of which was vegetarian. The soup was made of chicken stock and the salad had anchovies and bacon in it. So that was a bit annoying (especially as a quarter of the party was vegetarian).

My entree was a spinach risotto with julienned vegetables and shaved asiago cheese. It wasn't bad, but I wasn't terribly impressed. The risotto was a little too chewy and not creamy enough, I couldn't taste the spinach or the asiago and every now and then it tasted burnt. My sister got the same thing and said there was no burnt taste on hers, so its possible I just got the bottom of the pan. Again, I'm not really their target audience so I guess they don't have a lot of experience making vegetarian food not bland.

The dessert was a delicious chocolate cake – the icing was perfectly done, rich and creamy and sweet (without being sickly sweet). I ended up having more than one piece as I got half of my aunt's (she was finished) and part of my sister's (she had left).

Bottom line: the bookends of the meal were excellent and the carnivores seemed to like their meals. I just don't think I could recommend the place to my vegetarian readers [yeah, your many vegetarian readers in Victoria, BC --ed].

Samuel's by the Park
655 Douglas St. Victoria, British Columbia